Turning Daydreams into Reality: My Journey Moving Abroad

Dreaming about what life might be like elsewhere? Want to be an expat and experience living in another country? Are you overthinking things and convincing yourself it can't happen?

I've been there!

Before diving in, I want to quickly note that this is my personal experience and I’m sharing this to hopefully inspire those who are contemplating moving.  

Moving abroad (or just to another city within the country) for the first time is nerve-racking. It’s daunting. Even if you have visited that place before on holiday, you still have no idea what is in store for you. 

Visiting and living somewhere are two very different experiences.

How are the living conditions? How will I make friends? Will I adapt to the culture? What about the food? The safety? Will I get homesick? How homesick? And a laundry list more... 

Of course, we wonder about these questions long before we decide to make the move. But these lingering uncertainties become much more real when the date is set in the calendar, flight tickets are booked, and time seems to be flying by.

To understand how I finally decided to move abroad, let me start with a little background on myself - I was born and raised in what many consider "the greatest city in the world.” New York City, a diverse city of dreams and opportunities, but debatable whether it’s the “greatest” or not.  

Growing up in the outer boroughs of NYC in Queens, I never thought of moving out of the suburbs and into the hustle-bustle of Manhattan (let alone out of the country!). There were many reasons for this, for one, I grew up when Manhattan, or what we call "the city", was not what is it like right now… all gentrified, hippie, and safe! It was dangerous and swarming with prostitutes. My parents didn’t take me there unless it was to Chinatown to visit my grandparents at their restaurant. It wasn’t until my teenage years did Mayor Guiliani started cleaning up the city. So, by the time Times Square was rid of prostitution and looks like what you see now, that “old” city was still tainted in my mind.

That was one excuse I used to tell myself. But to be completely honest, it was largely due to my lifestyle in Queens and being afraid to move away from what I was used to. Space, a backyard, a car, my parents, my babies (aka my dogs), my boyfriend at the time, my friends (also at the time). We were all there and I was comfortable. I was complacent.  

So why would I want to distance myself from that?  

The 2-hour commute to and from work and a drastic change in my relationship status ultimately pushed me out of my comfort zone. So, I decided to make the move to a decent-size studio apartment in Midtown Manhattan. (By ‘decent’, I mean it was 450 sq ft. But my Hong Kong flat was smaller and I still think that was decent.)

Fast forward a few years, I've lived in that same apartment and immersed myself in the “big city” life. But I realised I wanted more, I craved something different. Ultimately, I needed a challenge.

I dreamt of moving to Hong Kong for years. And when I say years, I mean since university! But as things would have it, I landed a full-time job immediately after graduating and shortly after that, I landed another great job (a real career starter actually) at a multinational finance company. Then jumped to a start-up tech company. What I’m trying to get at is opportunities that kept arising that I felt were preventing me from moving out of NYC.

At least that’s what I kept telling myself - “I have such great opportunities and friends here, how can I leave? All the headquarters of the major corporations are based out of NY.” Blah blah blah… 

Those were excuses.  

The real reason for not moving abroad was because I was purely scared. Simple.  

I finally made my decision to really make the move to Hong Kong in 2015. But I needed to make it real. It couldn’t be just an idea anymore. So I started socialising my plans with everyone. My friends were surprised and excited about my decision, my best friends were extremely supportive, but my family was hesitant, weary and very realistic. 

An abridged conversation with my parents…

Me: I have decided to move to Hong Kong.

Dad: Why? You have a great job here! You might not make the same salary! 

Mom: How much is in your savings? How do you plan to support yourself?  

Dad: How about a job? Found one yet?  

Also Dad: How are you going to survive with all the flying roaches?? Yuck!  

And repeat over and over again throughout the year.

Fair questions. Especially the last one. Everyone who knows me can contest how mortified I am of those nasty crawlers.

No one ever thinks they have enough money saved to survive without a job. I definitely don’t. So the job part was really what had me thinking. I did not have a job waiting for me there. I did not know the job market at all. And I found that applying for jobs abroad wasn’t just hard but nearly impossible.  

So how and why did I FINALLY make the move?  

Fast forward a year to 2016, I was very unhappy at my job, realised the high possibility that I'd never leave NYC if not now, and I was in the last years of my glorious 20s.

It hit me like a jolt of lightning!

If I didn’t make the move now, I knew I wouldn’t ever do it. Once I enter my 30s, tradition will ultimately prevail and I will ‘need to’ settle down. (That’s a topic for another time.)   

So how did I make my move into reality?

I reevaluated my motives and the true reasons why I wanted (nay, needed) to do this. And everything fell into place after this.

I told my friends and family (again). I quit my job. Broke my lease. Booked a one-way ticket. And took a leap of faith.  What's the worst that can happen? I fail, hate that new city, and run into a flying creepy crawler. Whatever happens, I always knew NYC would still be there, as my home.

We need the challenge to keep developing personally. We need a change to keep things from being too mundane. We need to explore to keep learning.   

It takes a lot to step out of your comfort zone - both mentally and physically. There’s no sugarcoating this... It’s scary AF. But trust your gut when it tells you it’s time. Believe in your decision and yourself. 

There will always be an excuse you or someone will come up with that will undoubtedly make you reconsider your options.  But just remember this…  

You are so much stronger than you think you are, especially when you have to be. What doesn’t kill you, only makes you stronger - and this saying is as true as it comes. We are survivors!  

Note: I am writing this to express my personal experience and perhaps inspire someone. I have had a great experience thus far, but I recognise that it may not be the same for others. For those who had bad experiences, just remember that you at least tried. You came out of it with the experience (despite it probably not being what you wanted), with stories, and ultimately, with the reassurance of knowing exactly what you want, don’t want, and where your home is... because at the end of the day, home will always be there.